After Dinner Mint
After a month of pumping out the product you get to a point where you start to throw up in your mouth whenever someone says "February" or "Baby" or "Kirstie Alley" (I guess, you throw up in your mouth when you hear "Kirstie Alley" regardless).The point is, we wanted something to spruce up the site now that we hate to look it. We were going to do a project where we write the code for a new vibrant website layout every day for the month of March, but instead, we're just putting up a film Christof made in the fall. BUT -- one that's so far removed tonally from "the second month of the year project" that it might just make it so we can sleep at night.
The film is called "Egg Replacer." And guess what? More good news! You can be redirected to the aforementioned film by clicking this link.
March 1st.
The End
Do you remember a month that came before this past February? Well, we don't. But it's over now. The last film has been uploaded and you can access the whole mess of scraps right here.I don't get it, was the baby supposed to be real?
For those who did not keep up with the films, please don't watch the last one until you do. We've crafted a meticulous narrative that crumbles to dust if not digested in the proper order. Theories and thesis statements were involved in the development of the series.
For those who followed along with us we appreciate it greatly. Send these puppies along to your friends and see if they can find a good home.
Also, thanks to Davey and Jamey for being princes and Jesse for being a scoundrel.
Keep checking back for new and exciting projects that are about to get all up in your business.
February 29th.
Yo, and YO YO.
BAM! Two coming at you.Disgusting Little Shiver took the "Best Narrative Feature" prize at the Mid-Valley Video Festival.
Day 26 is up and that means we have three days left. Three more chances to make it up you. We're sorry for everything we did. Take this as a gift.
February 26th.
Get laid in the SHADE(S)!
We are happy to report that Christof's 2006 film, "Shades" is now available for viewing here at our You Tube page.We are also happy to report that we haven't given up on the 29 Days of Film Fun. So what are you waiting for? Today's is short and sweet -- if you want a taste, you know the drill.
February 23th.
Disgusting Little Shiver Oregon Premiere!
Shiver! Shiver!The Disgusting Little Shiver is making its Oregon premiere tonight at the Northern Lights Theatre pub in Salem. 8pm and we detonate.
If you want to stop by, we think it could be special. Like "you're wearing my pin, let's hold hands" special.
Also, our 29 Days of films is currently celebrating its 19th Day. Come out and support it on this special day.
February 19th.
Simple Math
Is it just us? Or is this month twelve times as awesome as it was on Feburary 1st?Here's looking at you.
February 12th.
BIG BRO
Guess who came over? Mad Movie Guy himself, Jesse Whiteman (A.K.A. Our older FUCKING brother). He came to town like an Uncle, swooping into Portland, treating us to dinner and a concert. We also lucked out and he masterminded Day Eight of our daily film series.
Take a tumble right here to enjoy the result!
February 8th.
29 Whats in 29 Huh?
The Whiteman Brothers decided to do something different this leap year. For the month of February (like, you know, the one we are in right now -- HELLO!) Sean and Christof will produce a short film everyday for 29 days and display them here for your enjoyment and eternal happiness.
However we will be producing each film the day before they are uploaded, so that we can keep posting consistently around midnight (the witching hour). For instance, last night we directed "Day One: An Unexpected Visitor" so we could upload it riiiight here for you to enjoy today.
If you like what you see, come back for more tomorrow. If you don't, well, come back when you are bored to the point where even watching one of our dipshit films will be more entertaining than your terrible life.
February 1st.
Resignation
Nancy,
I decided the work environment here at the Village Pantry is not one I need to subject myself to for $7.00 an hour. The disgusted looks and harsh reprimands don't exactly foster a feeling of cheer to the customers or encourage productivity in me as an employee. Thanks for giving me a job and I'm sorry to quit so soon, but I feel like less of a human being when at work and I value my humanity more than free coffee. And I'm confident I can find plenty of jobs that don't treat the employees with such disrespect.
Give me a call if you need to clarify anything and for my last few days of work send the eventual check to my Indianapolis address.
Sincerely,
Sean Whiteman
Oh, and check out whitemanbrothers.com for some cool short films.
November 24th.
A Switch Hit
Once again Jesse has fought the good fight to keep the "Switch Hit" section of the site updated. His latest little ditty can be found right here.
November 8th.
A Tease
Today we have some news and content to share if anyone wants to try some. We have the teaser up for "The Disgusting Little Shiver" which is the feature we shot over the summer. You can veiw that in our projects section or on our Youtube channel. Which reminds me, we have a Youtube channel which features a few shorts which aren't available at our site. In fact we have just posted a new short entitled "Philadelphia: The City of Brotherly Love" on our Youtube page. So, check it out if you're into checking things out. Enjoy the teaser here!Also, Sean finished his first novel, which is a little piece of business entitled "Gentle Valley Revisited". He is currently revising it in Indiana and he wants you to read it when he's done. Pretty please? Sugar on top sort of deal? With ants on top of the sugar.
October 14th.
The Summer
We meant to post something earlier.But if you filled a gunny-sack full of "meants" it wouldn't change the fact that at the end of the night you still gotta brush your teeth. Know what I mean?
But, yes. We meant to post a statement explaining why the site has been slow in the ways of progress and content these past few months. Well here's the reason...
We are shooting a new feature, and we are reaching the end of the production. Once completed Sean will move to Indianapolis and Christof will stay in Ithaca.
In the meantime, here is an essay written by a friend and fellow filmmaker. It discusses the merits of Sean's "Head Crumbs" series and is entitled "Sean Whiteman is a Man Hating Modernist God Destroyer".
Enjoy here!
September 19th.
The Last Crumbs
Sean has hammered the last nail, tossed the dirt on the tupperware coffin, and waved goodbye to his Head Crumbs series.Check it out right here.
Read Between the Crumbs
Sean has completed Part Two of his Texas saga entitled Head Crumbs. If you haven't seen the first part you must be really busy in life, and we are sorry for that. We can't imagine what that must be like.When you finally retire from your nine-to-five and your kids go off to Dartmouth, and you feel lonely and without purpose because you don't have children around to add significance to the mundane aspects of life, you should check out Part One then follow the trail of Head Crumbs to Part Two, located right here.
After watching those, you should buy yourself a jet-ski. Because you deserve it.
April 30th.
Storytime!
Gather 'round little ones and bring a snack because a new story by Christof is cooling on the window sill. The window sill is located right here.April 9th.
Angry and/or Insane Cinema Male!
Hold on to your hats and soft drinks because we got a hot new site for you to frequent!He's the blogger full of lager, the commentator and lamentator, the movie dude who's groovy & crude -- Jesse Whiteman is Mad Movie Guy!
March 21st.
A New Month!
Congrats! It's March!To celebrate this special time that only happens once a year, Christof has a new Switch Hit up. Read "Free Way" here.
Don't fret none, it's brief. So after you read it you'll still have time to pack your bathing suit and catch that flight to Cancun.
"WOOO! Spring Break! WOOO! Titties! WOOO! Sand Castles!"
Also! Sean has finished the first installment of a series of short films. The series is entitled "Head Crumbs" and part one can be found right here.
March 8th.
The Band
The Whiteman Brothers have finally released a photo from their latest tour. This was taken at the Idaho state fair. Good crowd.
That's Jesse Whiteman, far right, manhandling the bass like a watermelon covered in vasoline.
That's Sean Whiteman on drums, giving birth to percussion.
And that's Christof Whiteman spanking his guitar like a six-year old bully and releasing doves with his voice.
February 26th.
Vote _________ in 2008!
I know what all of you are thinking out there: "The 2008 Presidential Election is just around the corner...but...but...but who am I going to vote for?"Don't worry, kiddies, you aren't alone. Even The Whiteman Brothers have been there. Not anymore though. We are rooting for Dennis Kucinich after Christof and him had quite the bonding experience. Read all about it here.
February 20th.
Industrial Revolution!
Cavemen no more.The Whiteman Brothers have mobile phones (with CELLULAR technology). Next stop...
The Future!
February 16th.
Sack Lunch
Sean has completed his first short film while living in Austin. It is in the projects section and it is entitled "Sack Lunch".Enjoy the hell out of it. Or, break it into tiny pieces and enjoy the hell out of the individual pieces. Your call.
January 31st.
HIT
Jesse has a new Switch Hit up. Entitled "Greasy Napkin then 8 Billion".No need to fight. Plenty of prose and picture for everyone.
January 29th.
Gunfight!
In addition to the photographs Sean took of that historic day when the world saw the whites of Christof's eyes and the bullets of his gun, Scott Carver (designer of this here site and a whole lot more) took a video which is in the projects section of the site.Click to feel the raw power and salvation which lies within a .45 caliber handgun.
January 24th.
Celebration!
First! A certain rat named Vern turned 24 today.Second! Merry Christmas! The Whiteman Brothers realize that there are only a few more months until Christmas. Just a shade over eleven. And, well, we couldn't resist. We got you something. An early present. The one you can open Christmas Eve. If Christmas Eve came in January.
A video!
A new one at that. About Christmas. It's a short little stocking stuffer. Hope you enjoy.
Also, Sean has posted two fists of photographs. The photo section is now divided into different albums. There are some about guns and some about graffiti.
So, you know, boys and girls can enjoy.
Jesse has also written a new Switch Hit that should serve as the egg nog. Bottoms up!
January 19th.
THIS JUST IN! HOT OFF THE PRESS! STOP THE PRESS! PRESS THE BUTTON!
Christof takes up arms against fascism, communism, capitalism, racism, realism, post-modernism, cannibalism and baptism!
Details to come as events unfold!
January 11th.
Blurp.
Sean has a few more installments of The Pursuit up.He also has some HOT SEXY LIVE WEBCAM BIKINI UNDERWEAR KISSING pictures up.
December 11th.
Snake Eyes!
Christof now has up two new short films, Night Blooming and Sincerely, Duncan, both of which he made in the dead of night. Neither of which, as you can tell, are called Snake Eyes which is, in fact, a movie with Nicolas Cage.
Note to the Squeamish: If you don't like body hair, then you probably won't like Sincerely, Duncan.
Eastern tales.
The screening went quite well. Laughter and the like. Great crowd. Thankee to those of you who could make it. And Gypsy curses to those of you who could not.
We've got some new stuff up for you. Some more short stories and a new Switch hit in addition to a new short called The Bubble which was made some years back. Sean finished a new script as well. It's called The Disgusting Little Shiver. Enjoy.
November 22nd.
A single, supple, silly screening.
Tuesday the 14th The Whiteman Brothers will be having its first test screening. It will take place at Ithaca College in Ithaca, NY.
Shortly thereafter the screening will be over.
And then life will trade in its bowling shoes for a hot bowl of soup.
November 12th.
We are the daddy!
Congratulations! It's a website!
Now let's spank this baby and give it a name.
How about The Whiteman Brothers?
Perfect!
Man, life is so easy.
November 1st.