500
It is literally exactly like the movie Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.If you want to know what Indiana is like that's what I'll tell you.
Thanks to Davey Whitney and the never-say-die attitude I inherited from The Mighty Ducks trilogy I now know how to make the kind of rice I can write home to my parents about.
November 8th.
You're named after the dog?
I am now in Indianapolis which is located in the state of Indiana. GO HOOSIERS!I'm editing the film and applying for jobs. I briefly secured a position as a racecar driver at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, but was DQ'd for doping violations. Roid rage on the speedway.
Oh, and I finally watched "My Cousin Vinny"!!!!!!!
"Oh, yeah. You blend."--Marisa Tomei as Mona Lisa Vito in "My Cousin Vinny".
October 14th.
Old Man Summer
So, Old Man Summer has gone back into his shack at the edge of the woods. He's done chasing skirt in the summer heat and has resolved himself to a good book and a blazing fire.Old Man Whiteman hasn't resolved himself to anything yet. But the end is near! Production is coming to a close, as is my time in Ithaca. Then I'll go to my own shack at the edge of the woods and watch "Pete and Pete" reruns until the world remembers why it started this whole mess to begin with.
Dr. Mario has diagnosed me. I'm contagious. But that's not gonna stop me from getting my grubby hands all over you. Be warned.
September 19th.
Back to the Drawing Board
So, I'm back in Ithaca, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty (BONUS POINTS to whoever can tell me what Dickens novel that line is from).There's a shiver in the air!
Texas is so last week (kidding, hugs and kisses to all my favorite guys and gals--Hook em' Horns!).
June 16th.
Discussions
Man: "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Also, blah."Voice from the audience: "Is there something wrong with you?"
Dirty looks all-around.
Moderator: "Sir, can I quote you on that?"
Man: "You fucking-well better."
May 9th.
Resolutions
These are my New Year's resolutions for 2008:Stop living in the future.
April 29th.
Wish List
I kind of wish I had more sneaking suspicions of things. Any sort of thing. I wish I could look at any sort of thing and think to myself "Hmm. Something is not right about that THING. What in the hell is wrong with that THING."As it stands right now, I look at most things without a raised eyebrow.
So, if anyone wants to get me a gift for April Fool's day, I would love some sneaking suspicion. Or if you're hard up for cash, I'd settle for a raised eyebrow.
This is the best price I've found: Click Here.
March 24th.
BAFFLED
The scientific community was baffled.
The catholic church had no clue.
The crazies and the gypsies had their theories, but they were grounded in confusion.
The president was weeping underneath his desk; thumb in mouth.
Osama bin Laden was sleeping. Dreaming of a Thanksgiving dinner with all the fixins.
The dinosaurs were extinct.
The dodo bird came out of hiding.
My next door neighbor invited me over to his house to play some Nintendo.
My dad said not till I took out the trash.
Then, on the count of three, it all stopped.
Our teachers stopped teaching.
Our leaders stopped leading.
Our coal miners stopped mining.
Our parrots stopped talking.
Our toasters stopped toasting.
Our neighbors moved away.
Everything that once was became a stifled chuckle.
And then the applause sign came on and it got three standing ovations.
--This was a journal entry because it totally happened to me yesterday. And I was like "?"--
February 26th.
A lot has changed...
If you look back a few journal entries you would probably notice that I raved about the yogurt I was consuming. December 11th was the day in question. And yeah, it is in question.I bring this to the public's attention because it just made me realize how much I've grown up since then. I was so fickle back in 06. Jumping from one flashing light to the next. Raving about three different kinds of yogurt...
Now I've settled down a bit and realized that this is 07 now, and it's time to grow up. I realized I only mentioned Key-Lime Pie as one of the exciting flavors of yogurt I was freezing because it had an appealing name and it was exotic as far as yogurt flavors go. But that's not me. It just isn't. Not anymore. It was good the first time, but grew tiresome the second go around.
If I had to do it over again, with what I know now, my December 11th journal entry would go something like this:
I have been buying a lot of yogurt. Then freezing it.
Guess what flavors.
Nah. Go ahead. Guess.
Nope!
We're talking Blueberry!
We're talking Fuji Apple!
We're talking Mango Peach!
As you can see. Time passes, life goes on, people grow up. Who was I kidding? Key-Lime? I'm a blueberry man and I'm through hiding it. I'm a grown up who likes blueberries. That's me. Deal with it. Oh, and now that I'm an adult would you mind handing me that newspaper and that cup of coffee and that bathrobe and that 401k and that wife and those kids and that heart attack and that sweet tombstone.
On a side note, I bought crayons the day before yesterday. I wimped out and got the 64-pack even though the 96-pack only cost a buck-fifty more.
February 16th. 07.
Confession!
I have a confession to make. When I asked to borrow the hall pass, I didn't use it to go to the little boy's room. I used it to go to OREGON!I was there for two weeks. And my whole family was there. And when I say whole, I mean whole. Even the ones I didn't want to see. But they show up everywhere I go. Everywhere like Oregon. I'm looking at you Dad and Mom.
Nah, I'm just fucking with you DAD and MOM. What? Don't like it when I fuck with you? Then lay off with all the chores. Take out the garbage? Let's talk about garbage for a second...
Nah, I'm just fucking with you. Talk about garbage? Wouldn't that be a wild journal entry? I bet it would. Garbage this and garbage that. My word.
"Oh, Garbage #1. Did you see what Garbage #3 was wearing?"
"Um, no, Garbage #2. I was blinded by the tackiness. I mean, puh-leeeeeaase!"
ENTER GARBAGE #3.
"I know you guys think I'm just Garbage. But there is so much more to me than that. So much more garbage that you guys won't even take the time to get to know. And that's why I think you guys are just...garbage."
EXIT GARBAGE #3.
"Garbage #1, did you hear what Garbage #3 said? It must have been his time of the month."
"Uh, yeah, Garbage #2. I mean, puh-leeeeeaase!"
But seriously, Happy New Years.
January 11th.
The latest dirt.
I have been buying a lot of yogurt. Then freezing it.
Guess what flavors.
Nah. Go ahead. Guess.
Nope!
We're talking Key Lime Pie!
We're talking Fuji Apple!
We're talking Mango Peach!
December 11th.
Here we are.
Back from Ithaca. The trip was a treat. Very pleased about the turnout at the screening and the reception the film got. If it didn't play in Ithaca, it would likely not play very well anywhere else. At the Q & A we handed out Chic-o-Sticks to anyone who asked a question. They are as tasty as childhood.
I also was able to finish my newest feature script while staying at my brother's house. It's called The Disgusting Little Shiver and it is very different than anything else I've done. I'd say this script puts the focus on disgusting little shivers much more than my previous work. And this is an area that I find current cinema lacking.
I also returned to work yesterday. My fifth graders were quite impressed that I missed last week because I was in New York for a screening of my movie. They asked if The Rock was in my movie. I said "no" and they were less impressed.
At home I cried and wished the Rock was in my movies. If only for the fifth-graders.
November 22nd.
Texas is asleep.
I'm heading to New York. Going to put my feet up for a week and say hello to a great deal of wonderful people. Also, we are going to show the new film for the first time. This I anticipate greatly. The reactions should be unique. But if anyone would get this film it would be Ithaca.
I also plan on smiling during this time. Maybe multiple times. If I have one too many wine coolers, who knows what will happen. My smile and I might hit it off, one thing lead to another sort of deal, then BAM. Knocked up. Then I'll have a family to take care of. But I'll love em, and it will be worth it.
But they can't borrow my car. Have to draw the line somewhere. Otherwise my half-human, half-smile, children will have the run of the kingdom. And we CANNOT have that.
No. We can not.
November 12th.
You're cute
Hey. Yeah, you.
You are a damn cutie.
You know that? Did you know that? What's your number?
Because I was thinking. Just recently, actually. Like right now I was thinking, that if you are kind enough to come look at this site and if you are kind enough as to want to know what I'm thinking, by reading my journal, you know what you are?
A cutie.
Yeah, you.
Cutie.
So, how bout them digits? Could I score them digits? Put you in my cell phone and call you up on a Friday night. Go out dancing. I don't dance so much, but we'll go. And we'll put a fright in this town. Leave it panting and bloodshot.
Hey. In all seriousness, thanks for reading and browsing. My name is Sean and I live in Texas. I work at a movie theatre and at a grade school. Guess which one is more dramatic? Oh, but I'm only kidding. Calm down.
A seventh grader called me a faggot last friday!
Kids are so cute.
How we coming on those digits?